


River and the Heroes

by LordRebeccaSama



Series: Free Prompts! [7]
Category: Doctor Who (2005), Hogan's Heroes
Genre: F/M, Gen, Post-Episode: s07e05 The Angels Take Manhattan, Pre-Episode: s04e08 Silence in the Library, Prompt Fic, RIver Song is a badass
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-01
Updated: 2014-09-01
Packaged: 2018-02-15 19:33:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2240850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LordRebeccaSama/pseuds/LordRebeccaSama
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Doctor gets arrested in WWII <i>again</i> and River uses her connections to get in touch with the heroes that can help her get him back.</p><p>Just a prompt that's free to adopt!</p>
            </blockquote>





	River and the Heroes

**Author's Note:**

> This is 1 of 3 of my Doctor Who/Hogan's Heroes prompts. I couldn't figure out how to start it.

"What's the ruddy point of coming out to this meeting? Couldn't London give us the details themselves?"

Hogan shrugged. It did seem suspicious that this 'Doctor' knew more about the mission than London. Home base couldn't give Hogan's team any information, except that 'The Doctor' was a close personal friend of Churchill, who trusted the other man with his life.

"Come on, we're almost there," Hogan replied, spotting the barn through the trees. It took another minute for the duo to get to the front door and knock four times on the aging wood.

The door was pulled open by a woman wearing a black, denim dress. Her blond hair fell in tight curls around her head and she had a stern expression on her face. Her face looked young, laugh lines clearly visible, but her eyes were old, years of...something weighed heavily upon her. Strapped to her belt was a leather gun holster of some kind, holding a silver gun unlike something Hogan had seen before.

"Papa Bear?" she asked.

Hogan nodded. "Doctor?"

The woman frowned and shook her head, but opened the door wider to let Hogan and Newkirk in. "That's who we need to rescue. He's been taken in by the Gestapo."

The two prisoners of war walked into the barn, guns pointed at the woman.

"If you're not The Doctor, why did you use his codename?"

She sat down on one of the bails of hey and gestured for them to sit as well, which they did with apprehension.

She smirked. "One, if I had wanted to kill you, you would already be dead, but I need your help; so, please, can you put the guns away." She paused. "Wow, never thought I would say that." She shook her head as if to clear it. "I used his codename because I don't have my own. Do each of the men under your command have their own names?" She asked rhetorically.

Hogan frowned and accepted her answer. He lowered his gun and motioned for Newkirk to do the same. "What can we call you then?"

She smiled and crossed her legs. "I'm Professor River Song. I'm a close personal friend of The Doctor's."

"'Ow close?" Newkirk asked.

River smiled. "I'm his wife."

"Your accent sounds British. What are you doing in Germany?" Hogan asked, steering the conversation back on topic.

She pouted. "Well, we _were_ traveling, but Churchill called and asked The Doctor to check up on you guys to make sure you were doing alright, or if you needed anything, but he can't drive, so we landed a bit off the intended target of your main tunnel. I guess I'm lucky that he didn't land in Berlin in Hitler's office, _again_." She smirked. "Now, _that_ would have been a mess." Hogan and Newkirk shared a glance. What _was_ she talking about?

"Why did the Gestapo arrest The Doctor?" asked Hogan.

"He had my dad lock Hitler in a cupboard. He was being annoying, and to be honest, he _did_ shoot me, but I don't think he appreciated being put in the cupboard very much."

Newkirk started laughing at the image of the 'mighty' Adolf Hitler being pushed into a cupboard and Hogan smirked in mirth.

"'Ow did you ge' into 'is office?"

River shrugged. "Well, I had a gun and he had a time machine. That's not the point, though. He's being held at the Gestapo headquarters in town. In two days, he'll be transferred to Berlin to be executed before the Fuhrer. I can't allow that to happen."

"Time machine?" Hogan asked.

"Again, not the point of this conversation. You men are the best and I need your help. The Doctor needs your help."

Hogan frowned. "This 'Doctor' is being held at the most secure place in all of Hammellburg, for putting Hitler inside a closet. Security isn't going to be loose. There's bound to be an armed guard with him at all hours. What makes him important enough to risk our entire operation?"

River looked him in the eyes, fire burning in their depths. "He's saved, and will save, the Earth hundreds of times, and no one ever thanks him. He saves this small insignificant ball of gases over and over again, even though he knows how the human race destroys itself everyday. He saves this planet because he loves this rock. Without him, the Earth would have been destroyed years ago."

Newkirk was nervous at the seriousness in the woman's voice. What she was saying didn't make sense, but it was hard not to believe her.

"Churchill would command you to save him in a heartbeat. He's a national hero, Colonel Hogan."

Hogan sighed. "Alright, we'll help rescue him."

"Great." River smiled and stood up. She collected the two automatic rivals next to her and the overcoat that hung on a nail in the wall, sliding it on and hiding the two guns successfully. "Let's get going."

Newkirk led the way back to camp and Hogan walked next to the mysterious and confusing River Song. She was silent and confident as she trekked through the forest, unlike most of the other underground agents they met. She held the small grey gun in her hand, not even remotely frightened of walking through enemy territory.

A twig snapped off to the right. River swung her gun towards the sound and the trio froze, crouching lower to the ground.

After a couple minutes of no other sounds, the trio stood back up. "Quicker, just in case," Hogan whispered. Newkirk and River nodded.

They reached the stump within the next twenty minutes. Newkirk went down first followed by River and Hogan.

"Nice tunnel you guys have. I was expecting foxholes."

"We like to make a nice first impression on visitors," Hogan replied. "Come on, I'll introduce you to the rest of the team."

Hogan led the woman down the tunnel to the main room under Barracks Two. The few men in the tunnel stopped and stared. It wasn't often that they had women down in the tunnels.

He stopped at the radio. "Fellas, this is Professor River Song. Professor, this is our radioman, Sergeant James Kinchloe—"

"Pleasure."

"—our explosive expert, Tech. Sergeant Andrew Carter—"

"Hello."

"—Corporal Louis LeBeau, our resident cook—"

" _Enchanté, mademoiselle._ " He kissed her hand.

"—and you've already met our resident con artist, Corporal Peter Newkirk." Newkirk nodded.

"It's a pleasure, and it's just River, love. Down to business, yeah?"

Hogan nodded and pulled out a blueprint of Gestapo headquarters. River looked at something on her wrist. "Okay, my readings indicate that The Doctor's located here." She pointed at a corner cell in the lowest level. It had one entrance that was heavily bolted from the outside. "He'll be able to unlock the door easily, but knowing him, he'll just get himself arrested again. We need to distract the guards long enough for him to get out.

"Doctor who?" Carter asked.

River smirked at some inside joke. "Just The Doctor."

"What's the plan, _mon colonel_?"

Hogan crossed his arms and paced in the underground tunnel. They needed a big enough distraction to get all of the guards away from their positions.

"I'm not sure at the moment. Let's sleep on it. River, you can sleep in the tunnel. One of the men will show you where a cot is."

She nodded. "Thanks." Hogan went up the ladder.

"I'll show you to you're room," Carter said.

River smiled. "Well, thanks, sweetie." Carter blushed and stumbled down the tunnel.

"You don't seem too worried abou' your 'usband," Newkirk said, following.

"You're married?" LeBeau asked from behind the Englishman.

River shrugged. "He can take care of himself, but it'll be easier for him if we can get him out without them knowing he even left."

"How is he going to get out of a locked cell?" Carter asked. He stopped at the doorway to the travelers rest room.

She shrugged, "He has his ways," and slid off her coat, laying it across a chair in the corner. The two guns slung on her shoulders followed.

"Woah," the young sergeant exclaimed. "How did you hide those?"

"Can't tell you, sweetie, it's a secret. Now, as wonderful as you've men been, I'm tired. See you in the morning."

**Author's Note:**

> If you take this idea and run with it, please let me know so that I can add a link here. You don't have to use what I wrote. The characters don't even have to act like I wrote them, but if you use this as inspiration, please let me know. I may continue this story one day, but it's unlikely.


End file.
